September 21, 1995, my beloved Mama passed away from Cancer at the age of 40. No child, parent, or loved one should ever have to watch someone they love die such a horrible death. Especially when you are clueless to the effects it will have on you, but then how do you prepare for death?
My life fell apart! I was such a Mama's boy; Oh, but in the streets, I had a thugs personality, but around my Mama, I was the biggest baby. My Mama was my best friend, and the only person I knew who truly loved me unconditionally. I woke up the day after she passed, so alone and afraid, and not knowing what the future held in store for me.
Can you imagine waking up in a world full of people and knowing that not one person loves you, or would mourn your death? Well I started drinking and using drugs, and 3 months after my Mama passed, I was sentenced to 60 yrs. in prison.
I wont go into all my struggles I've had in these 13 yrs., but it's been rough and trying, and it all adds up to; "I'm still here!" God has brought me from the depths of hell and back. When I no longer believed in Him, He never gave up on me. How blessed am I? For me, the lesson I've learned, was no matter how bad things get, never give up on yourself. God has a plan for us, and God never gives us more than we can handle.
It took prison to save my life, but for you, let it be prayer and your belief in God, or if not that, then the belief that if you hold your head high and stay focused there is a brighter day ahead. It might not seem so at that moment, but I promise you if you trust yourself, and believe in yourself, then it will get better. Prison life is hard, we're treated like property, and less than human. Prisoners are abused, subjected to all kinds of inhumane treatment, and for some, they find solace in medication. For others like myself, we find strength from within.
I have no family or friends, but for those who do, love your family member or friend locked down, they need you in their darkest hours. Yes, we've made mistakes but we're still human beings with the same emotions as anyone else. Please don't give up on us, we need you, your love and support. If anyone has questions, or would just like to respond to my life experiences, please feel free to write....